Government calls on director of Titanic and Avatar to stop oil spill

Neither British Petroleum, the Federal Government, the U.S. Coast Guard nor even Obama himself have been able to stop the flow. Just when there seems to be no hope at all, the powers that guide us place their faith in a master movie maker. It’s Hollywood to the rescue.

It’s a stroke of genius. Anyone who knows how to tell someone else to photograph a ship under water should also know how to tell someone else to screw a cap on a pipe underwater. Modesty reigns in the White House so no one is taking credit for the idea. Some say it came from Biden, others claim it was Emmanuel who said “Never let a disaster go to waste. Let’s make a movie.”

We assume Obama would play himself in the saga. While the story would be based on real events it would need to be greatly modified. Actually that’s redundant; “based on” means “greatly modified” in Hollywoodspeak. Change is essential for there must be a hero, a villain, sex, tragedy and triumph. The hero, villain and tragedy are in place and triumph can be presumed. Sex is the challenge. Producers are considering changing the site to a land base rig where the explosive event could be filmed with shock and awe.

Bob B

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