Category Archives: Satire

THE NEW YORK TIMES WATCH

ONCE A GREAT NEWSPAPER

Election prospects have recently turned sharply, although not decidedly, against the Democrat. This comes at a critical point in the 2012 election and at a very critical point in the history of our country. At a time like this we look to the nation’s newspaper of record, the paper whose motto is “All The News That’s Fit To Print” to see what they have to report at this critical hour.
The lead headline above the fold is “In a Surprise Move, Pandit Steps Down as Citigroup Chief.” Now I know it is called the New York Times and Citigroup’s headquarters are in New York City but this is a national, even international paper. It is not the local daily nor is it a financial reporter. There is no good news for Obama today so the editors can find nothing more newsworthy than a story about a business leader who lost his job. Heave a sigh and look further for something of world class importance.
The Online issue prominently features a video, also “above the fold.” That must be about the presidential race, no? No. It is about a Congressional race in Iowa. I think I will try the National Enquirer. Do you know if they have an Online edition?

WHY BIDEN WILL DO VERY WELL TONIGHT

There are several reasons why Biden should do well and won’t fall on his face like his boss did in the first debate?  First of all, the elevation is only 980 feet.  Anyone who has been to Denver or watches MSNBC knows how difficult it is to talk at that altitude.

Secondly, not being able to use a teleprompter has never hampered Biden from making the very memorable statements that are his hallmark.  Furthermore, he didn’t have John Kerry to let him down and Jim Lehrer will not moderate the debate.   Finally, Paul Ryan is expected to be Paul Ryan, quite different than Romney who wasn’t himself in the debate.  In other words, none of the factors that were stacked against Obama will affect the Vice President.  Well there may be one.  The moderator may still be sitting lower than the candidates making it difficult for Obama not to face his opponent when speaking.

Tonight’s debate will be the most watched Vice Presidential debate in history.  Biden will surely make every effort to put one of his best feet forward because it is his opportunity to establish bona fides for a run for President should Obama decide to step down in 2016.  Mathematics are boring, Biden is entertaining.  For all these reasons, if I were asked to predict the winner, I would say the answer to that is a no-brainer.

RANDOM THOTS ABOUT NOISES, JILL BIDEN and APPLE

You may have heard that Ahmadinejad and Barack Obama have both said Israel’s concern over a nuclear Iran is a lot of noise.  To Obama, the “noise” is a political distraction founded on a baseless fear from a people and a nation he does not like.  T Ahmadinejad, the noise is the sound of a nuclear bomb exploding in Tel Aviv.

Jill Biden, Slo Joe’s wife told an off color joke about her husband on the stump.  (Jill not Joe).  It was about her husbands qualifications for office.  She gestured with her hands and entendered that when it comes to work ethic, she has seen her husband up close and he has a big one.  Apparently Mr.’s Biden can’t spell any better than Dan Quayle.  What Churchill said was a great world leader should walk softly but carry a big stick.

In other news I see Apple is on tack to be the first company worth one trillion dollars.  That’s quite a turn around from the days when the board fired Steve Jobs in 1985 because the company was headed for bankruptcy.  Today’s management must know something about how to go from doing things wrong to doing things right in order to pile up all that cash they have.  Should we hope they buy the United States?

LIFE ON MARS DECLARED UNLIKELY TO BE SUSTAINABLE. Now where y’gonna go if your side loses the election?

A new study published in the journal Nature Geoscience says the problem on Mars is the water.  The planetary scientists talk about problems like too much clay or magma or something in the water.  It sounds like pollution to me.  It must be due to some congressional bill President Bush refused to sign.

Mars is called the Red Planet because of its hue.  I don’t know how it happened but Republicans are called the Red party.  So perhaps it could be a rosy home in the heavens for Republicans.  But the planetary experts also say Mars is as hot as hell.  That would seem to make it a better home for Democrats.

No matter.  The rush for tickets will be so great you won’t be able to get a seat anyhow.  However, if you do, beware, it’s a long flight.  At least it’s direct.

If you do go, here is what Mars music is like.

THE AMERICAN DREAM – OBAMA STYLE

Hat tip to Iowahawk for the idea of this interpretation of the American Dream in the Era of Obama.

Go to college on a government student loan.  Don’t pay it off if you need the money for beer.  Get a job.  Get laid off.  Get 99 weeks of unemployment checks from the government and supplement that with some work off the books.  When the nearly two years of unemployment checks run out go on SS Disability income.  All the while remaining in the 49% that pay no taxes.

You may have to drive a Chevy but you will have an awful lot of time to spend on the beach.

OBAMA’S GAFFES, GEMS NOT TO MISS

Ramirez is best known for his cartoons but he writes a mean article as well.  This one is something about Obama giving a speech to some corpse men in the Austrian language in all 57 US states, especially in Beaverton, Oregon.

MEDIA MISSES EVERY OBAMA GAFFE

ORWELL RIDES AGAIN. CHECK YOUR NEIGHBOR’S ORIENTATION.

We are talking here about your neighbor’s political orientation and not his procreation inclination.  Team Obama’s exploitation of the voting system is unprecedented.  One must give the devil his due it has been said, the Team does not let any aspect of technology go to waste.  If you want to know how your neighbors generally vote you don’t even need to leave your house to find out.

Simply use your mobile device to go to the website Obama for America and download the mobile app for free.  Plug in and your address, or any address, and a street map displays with little blue flags on the houses of the Democrats.  There is nothing intrinsically devious about this; it is disquieting nonetheless.  It is one more block in the creation of the house of Orwell.  Devices already in your TV tell someone what you are watching at night.  GPS transmitters already in some cars tell someone exactly where you parked on Tuesday from 3:11 until 4:27 pm.  One wonders if 100 years from now thought transmitters may be planted in newborns at birth with thought receivers on sale at Radio Shack.