Category Archives: Satire

INDIANA JOINS WISCONSIN AND TEXAS AS STATES WITH DEMOCRATS AGAINST DEMOCRACY

Posted on February 22, 2011 | Leave a comment

How can you claim to be for Democracy and against voting?

It all started in Texas in 2003 when state senate Democrats left the state en mass because it was the Republicans turn to present a redistricting plan. The Wisconsin Democrats flew the coop when the Republican governor proposed state workers contribute a percentage of the cost of their health care and retirement plans, still less than normal in the private sector. The trigger issue in Indiana, as I understand it from preliminary reports, is a requirement supported by Democrats, that civil service workers pay a fee to unions they chose not to join.

Bonnie and Clyde, I can understand. They were common criminals and had good reason to go on the run, to cross state lines and hide from the police. We can’t say that about the Democrats, can we. Their actions are extraordinary, certainly not common.

State legislators only need to leave the state to escape certain laws of their state. Washington legislators would need to leave the nation to accomplish the same objective. Do you see where I am going here? Can’t we get the Republican Congress to propose something on which the Democrats don’t want to vote? Even if they are only gone for a week or two it would be like opening the windows on an early spring day.

Leave a comment

Posted in News, Satire

Tagged , , ,

RANDOM THOTS FOR FEB 18 2011

Posted on February 18, 2011 | Leave a comment

The Brilliance of the New York Times
A journal doesn’t get to be the leading newspaper in a nation like the United States without publishing profound and meaningful content. Prestige that follows assignment as a writer or editor for the Times is recognized the world over. An organization like the Times can draw upon the best talent in the western world.

Subscribers to Daily Headlines get 4 or 5 headlines and a “Quote of the Day”. The headlines purport to report the news. News is news; the quote is where the paper can wax profound. Today the editors chose these words of wisdom to put up front for the “Quote of the Day” (drum roll please).

“I’m missing a whole lot. I know that.”

There you have it, sum and substance, the whole bit, nothing left out, not clouded with a lot of context, pure profound wisdom as seen by the editors of the New York Times. Accreditation was given to a 17 year old student from Coffeesville, Alabama who didn’t have a broadband connection for his computer.

There is currently no cost for a subscription to The Daily Headlines. You might want to consider signing up. It’s definitely worth the price.

Are you a doctor?
You might want to consider giving it up and becoming a cop. There’s more money in it. In our home town, an officer in blue just retired after making $299,223 in his last year. We don’t know how much his pension will be, but in some towns it is as much as 90% of regular wages. And doctor, other than a return on money you have put aside yourself, how much will your pension be? Oh, you are self employed; you have no employer pension. See what I mean? Become a cop. There’s more money in it.

Maxine has a question
Mr. Obama, you say you have gifted us with a health care plan we are forced to buy and will be fined if we don’t, that covers 30 million more people with no more new doctors, written by a committee whose chairman says he doesn’t understand it, passed by a Congress who didn’t read it, but exempted themselves from it, administered by a treasury chief who didn’t pay his taxes, a plan for which we’ll be taxed for four years before we get any benefits, by a government that has already bankrupted Social Security and Medicare, overseen by a Surgeon general who is obese, supported by a president who smokes. Do I understand it correctly, Barack?

Love, Maxine

Leave a comment

Posted in Satire

Tagged ,

SEVERE ENERGY CRISIS HITS SOUTHWESTERN TIER

Posted on February 5, 2011 | 1 comment

Southern California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas are suffering severe shortages of electricity and natural gas. Hospital administrators in Texas are screaming because even hospitals are not excluded from rolling blackouts planned by electric utility providers. The crisis is but a preview of what will be in store if liberal energy policies prevail. Mexico promised to add power to the grid to help us in our hour of need. Then they reneged. In times of stress when you find out who your friends are.

Obama is taking the heat. The pun wasn’t intended, but now that it’s in print it makes you think,….perhaps he has taken our heat. He placed a moratorium on drilling in the Gulf of Mexico against the explicit advice of his own panel of experts. It was a high profile issue, not a time to contravene expert advice. So the administration changed the advice.

The panel of experts signed a letter exposing the fraud. The main stream press didn’t seem to notice. We reported it in our post First Oil Rig Sails Away .

The drilling ban was lifted, but only after some of the big drilling rigs were gone.

The president canceled the granting of new exploration leases, partially restored after the damage was done. The permitting process has started anew. It takes from five to ten years of feeding the legal profession to go from getting the lease to dropping a bit to start the hole.

Then there’s coal. If we can get some heat we can make electricity. The land has plenty of coal and it burns. But Obama promised to make it economically unfeasible to build a new coal fired energy plant. Darn! Let’s hope he is not a man of his word.

Perhaps we should just build a fence all along the Canadian border. That’s where the cold is coming from, isn’t it?

1 Comment

Posted in News, Political polemics, Satire

Tagged , ,

DONALD TRUMP EYES PRESIDENTIAL RUN…AGAIN

Posted on January 31, 2011 | Leave a comment

Trump for President

The Donald is up to nonsense again. Says he may run for president. He has said this before. This time he says he is serious. Preposterous as it sounds, I suppose we could do worse. In fact, we are.

Who would he pick for Vice President? He probably wouldn’t bother having one.

*************************

 

Olbermann for the Senate

A group of Democrats tried to draft Keith Olbermann to run for Lieberman’s senate seat. Well why not? If we are going to go to that place in a hand-basket we may as well go with someone who has connections.

Leave a comment

Posted in News, Satire

DENIS KUCINICH SERIOUSLY INJURED

Posted on January 27, 2011 | Leave a comment

HURTS HIMSELF ON OLIVE PIT

Apparently there was no warning label on a sandwich Kucinich bought at the cafeteria. So Denis did what anyone else would do when there’s no warning label; he bit down so hard on his sandwich that he broke a tooth. The lawmaker is suing the sandwich maker. Denis wants $150,000 to buy a new tooth and to compensate him for “loss of oral enjoyment”.

If the capitalist sandwich man hadn’t been so greedy for profits he would have hired someone to take out the pits. Someone, perhaps a homeless person, could have had a job with benefits and medical insurance. It’s not skilled labor.

Apparently Sarah Palin is getting off scot-free. Smashing ones mouth on an olive pit is certainly a violent event, and yet, she is not even named in the lawsuit.

It very disturbing when we hear of tragedies like this. Lets’ be thankful, this time no one got hurt.

Leave a comment

Posted in News, Satire

Tagged ,

STATE OF THE UNION

Posted on January 26, 2011 | Leave a comment

Well, it’s over. The highlight of the speech was ….., sputnik?…. no, …how about….,   hmm. Actually, I don’t think there was a highlight. Boehner’s tie wasn’t what I would have expected for the Speaker of the House. Hillary looked good. That can happen when you decide to give up politics. Biden looked like a bright and capable man. A lot of Democrats look like that.

Bachman was shrill. Ryan was brilliant. So what else is new? There was no football game so the ratings were pretty good. A local radio broadcaster I know, not personally of course, said the President never looked at the audience, not once. I guess if you look away it’s easy to lose your place on the teleprompter.

The event was much less entertaining than it was last year. Pity.

Leave a comment

Posted in Satire

BEATING A DEAD HORSE DEPARTMENT

Posted on January 25, 2011 | Leave a comment

This item could have easily been titled ”Joke of the Week”. Here is one sentence from the New York Times’ announcement of Olbermann’s final break with MSNBC. It’s a real howler.

“Mr. Olbermann’s outspoken, and sometimes controversial, support of liberal positions and Democratic candidates redefined MSNBC from a neutral news channel to one that openly offered a voice to viewers on the left, much as Fox News has done for conservatives.”

Sometimes controversial? The Times needs a good thesaurus so they could find words like “frequently” or “always” or “highly”. And controversial? Sarah Palin is controversial. Keith Olbermann is beyond controversial, he is mean spirited. At least that’s what the Times might have said. I would have said disgusting.

Olbermann redefined MSNBC, from a neutral channel? Do the editors think MSNBC was politically neutral before he came on board? Apparently so. Makes your head spin, doesn’t it. It takes a very strong pair of liberal colored glasses to see MSNBC as neutral, even before Olbermann.

“Openly offered a voice to viewers on the left” So that’s why the ratings were so high (a bit of sarcasm there), the left finally had a voice, and an open voice at that. Out of the closet, finally!

Olbermann and MSNBC are much like Fox. Really? Perhaps we should get a television set for them as well as a thesaurus so they could actually watch Fox before equating it to MSNBC.

So much for the New York Times. Now I feel the need to explain Dead Horse. You see, there has been a lot of reporting on the Olbermann affair, at Random Thots and elsewhere. And it’s over. He’s gone. Commenting further, such as I have done here is like hitting a horse that has died in an effort to get him up, a useless endeavor. I was not suggesting violence against horses or people. I did not intend to imply any harm should come to the mann. I did not mean to compare Olbermann to a dead horse. If I were to compare him to a horse it would be a live one, and not the whole horse, of course.

I do not believe horses should be beaten, not even dead ones. I am a good and gentle person. I’m just not a Democrat.

 

Leave a comment

Posted in Political polemics, Satire

Tagged , , ,

GLOBAL FREEZING

Posted on January 7, 2011 | Leave a comment

You have seen the headlines: Europe Closed Again Due to Winter Storms, Snow in Baghdad Second Time Ever, Record Cold Reported Here, Record Cold Reported There, Polar Bears Cuddle with Cubs to Keep Them From Freezing. Now fast forward a couple of years.

April 1, 2017.
Today the New York Times published an article entitled “Hudson Tunnels to Be Abandoned When River Dries Up.” UN scientists predict global cooling will cause water levels to drop 48 feet by 2040. As temperatures cool, much of the precipitation that normally falls will remain in a solid form called ice. The more water that remains in this solid form, the less there will be to feed future precipitation (rain and snow). As this vicious cycle proceeds, oceans will begin to recede and the world will begin to reveal itself. There is little hope for change in the outlook, scientists say.

A minister who recently moved to Florida blamed it on the government. “They lied! They lied!” he repeated. “The government had a program to stop the warming so certain people would die! Now the chickens have come home to roost.”

Economists worry that declines in the value of prime property could precipitate a financial crisis if rich people who own waterfront property default on their mortgage payments. Republicans are holding Obama responsible, while Democrats are blaming Bush. Truthers say Bush wanted to dry up the Gulf coast so Texas would be bigger and Obama wanted Kenya to be a little cooler so he could retire to his home in comfort. We say its because the sun has lost some of its spots. It’s not anthropogenic at all. The climate change issue is just like this post, a lot of nonsense.

Leave a comment

Posted in Satire

Tagged , ,

FOUR OF A KIND? NO WAY, JOSE!

Posted on January 6, 2011 | Leave a comment

Sean Penn, Oliver Stone, Noam Chomsky and Bill Clinton

In case you have not heard, Hugo Chavez has rejected President Obama’s choice of Ambassador to Venezuela, entry VISA denied. The Venezuelan dictator has submitted a list of four names from which the President may choose a new Ambassador. They are Sean Penn, Oliver Stone, Noam Chomsky and Bill Clinton.

My first thought when I saw the list was, what about Cindy? But then, Cindy Sheehan is a woman of course. And then, how did Bill Clinton who believes in America and loves it to the core get on this moron’s motley list of wealthy American born, America bashing Marxists ? – two idiots from Hollywood, one brilliant misguided college professor and one ex US President. And why select Clinton and not Carter? Has Hugo no loyalty? After all, it was Jimmy Carter who personally and officially certified Chavez’s election as valid and free from fraud. Hugo owes him one for that.

I say, send Penn, Stone and Chomsky, all three. At least it will get them out of the country.

Leave a comment

Posted in News, Satire

Tagged , , , ,

OBAMA’S PRESS CONFERENCE

Posted on December 7, 2010 | Leave a comment

CNBC Poll: – Extend Bush Tax Cuts, Say Americans Worried About Economy

Obama: – “I convinced the American people. I had no problem with that. It was just the Republicans I couldn’t convince.”

Someone should tell the President four things he appears not to know:
1 He did not convince the American people.
2 Republicans are Americans too, the same as Democrats.
3 Democrats control the Senate, not republicans.

The President also said he had no choice but to accept the deal because he didn’t have 60 votes in the Senate. Yo, Barack! You only needed 51.

And can you explain some things for us, please? You spoke of “tens of millions” who needed that unemployment extension. The Bureau of Labor Statistics reported 15.1 million total unemployed in November. How did you get “tens of millions” eligible for extensions out of 15 million total unemployed?

You also said this deal would help the millions of hard working American families with low paying jobs that are struggling to meet the bills. We thought the unemployment benefit extension was for people who were out of work.

But you really scared me when you said American people were being held hostage by some Republicans. I called 911 and the people there didn’t know anything about it. I hope you were kidding because I was planning to go home for Christmas.

Leave a comment

Posted in Political polemics, Satire

Tagged ,