Category Archives: Humor

OBAMA’S BUFFETT PLAN FOR TAXES

“It’s confoosin but not amoosin.”  Lil Abner

From the Associated Press:

WASHINGTON (AP) — President Barack Obama is expected to seek a new base tax rate for the wealthy to ensure that millionaires pay at least at the same percentage as middle income taxpayers.

The federal income tax rate for payers with taxable income of 379,150 or more, which obviously includes millionaires, is 35%.  What does the AP mean by “middle income”?  If they mean people with taxable income between 34,500 and 83,500, their rate is 25%.  Is Obama proposing that millionaires who are now taxed at 35% should pay at least 25%?  That can’t be.

The AP says that on Monday, Obama will announce what he will call the “Buffett Rule” for the rich.  Perhaps we will know what it is after he proposes it.  At least that’s better than having to wait until Congress passes it.

The AP explains:

“The measure would be in addition to $447 billion in new tax revenue that Obama is seeking to pay for his short-term spending and tax cutting plan to jump start the economy.”

How’s that again, a $447 billion “spending and tax cutting” plan?  I’m confoosed.  I didn’t know spending was a tax cutting measure.

As I understood it, Barack Obama’s most recent jobs plan calls upon Congress to appropriate another $447 billion that the President and his administration can spend as they see fit to create some jobs.  But the President did say in his speech that he would “cut payroll taxes in half”, temporarily.  Payroll taxes are those deductions from your pay that go for Social Security and Medicare.  Obama also said it is time to “raise middle class taxes”.  Aha!  I think I’ve got it.  If we raise middle class taxes to 35% that will “ensure that millionaires pay at least at the same percentage as middle income taxpayers”.  Now that is amoosin!  But I’m still confoosed.

SOCIAL SECURITY TRUST FUND HAS NO RESERVES

W.C. Fields was on a long train ride one day and found himself sitting in the smoking car at the losing end of a few hands of poker. His chips had run out. His credit had reached the limit of trust his new found debtors were willing to extend. W.C. leaned back in the plush velvet parlor car chair and said, “I am going to do for you something I rarely do for a stranger. I am going to give you my IOU.”

In the case of Social Security the government takes your money, takes an equal amount from your employer and puts the sum of them both in a cookie jar called “The Trust Fund”. Then they take all the money out of the cookie  and spend it on such things as they see fit. Some of it is paid out to those already in retirement, some of it goes to building needed highways, some of it goes for earmarks that buy votes for favored politicians or as barter for the passage of bills. None of it stays in the cookie jar.

But the powers that be, lean back in their plush leather chairs and tell us not to worry. They have given us their IOU. They tell you it’s in a Trust Fund and invested in safe government securities. Imagine for a moment that you are concerned about the financial stability of a bank that was holding the assets upon which you are relying for retirement. Now I ask this question. What would be your reaction be if the bank president wrote a letter to you – not to worry, the bank has used the money to expand its business but your account is safely protected by IOUs from the bank? That is Social Security.

RAMBLINGS ON LAWYERS AND POLITICIANS

Two lawyers walk into a courtroom with their respective clients. The case is a bitterly contested civil lawsuit. The argument in court is vicious. It turns personal when the two advocates lambaste each others positions before the judge. Animosity runs high.

The trial ends. The verdict is rendered. A few days later the attorneys join each other for lunch. The atmosphere is friendly. Here they are friends. In the courtroom each played a role, each fulfilling his duty to his client. In the restaurant they are brothers in a profession.

There is an aspect of gamesmanship in the legal process that attorneys understand but their respective clients do not. And so it is in politics. Bush (the senior) and Clinton (the one named Bill) were fierce opponents in the court of politics and before the jury of voters. With the campaigns over and the terms in office concluded, they are but brothers in a profession.

Democracy is the courtroom. The press is the medium. We are the jury. Each side comes before us to plead their case. It can be vicious at times. But the players keep a healthy bit of detachment unseen by the public. For sanity’s sake, we all need to do the same, (once in a while).

Warning! Strong language.

FAA SHUTDOWN — THE WAR OF OPINIONS

Congress Forces Partial Shutdown Of FAA, Leaves Thousands Without Pay

by Jennifer Bendery, Huffington Post

That is Ms. Bendery’s headline at the HuffPo. How would you read it?

Is it news? No, the FAA is not shut down either partially or fully and no one has been left without pay. Okay, let’s give a little poetic license and allow that Jennifer may have meant Congress May Force Shutdown…; then would it be news? No, it would be opinion.

Another journalist might say Harry Reid Forces Shutdown… or President Obama Forces Shutdown…, all equally plausible opinions. The Republican House won’t budge (yet), Harry Reid won’t allow the bill passed in the House to clear the Senate and Obama says he would veto it anyhow. So who would be the responsible party if some air traffic controllers were to become furloughed as a result of the impasse? It would be, and forever remain, a matter of opinion.

The parties in Washington are fighting a war over public opinion. In that sense, the Republicans are fighting on their opponent’s home turf. Democrat’s, good ones and bad, have always been the masters at appealing to fears and emotions. They are the wordmasters and words are what shape public opinion.

The Republicans are not the problem. The Republicans are the solution to the problem. (How did you like that one? I channeled Reagan for it.) Or as Walter Cronkite would never say, “It’s the Democrats, stupid!”

WHAT A WACKEY WORLD

It’s amazing what you can learn from reading the links on Drudge.

Insect spies
In the military world we learn that the Pentagon is developing spy drones no bigger than an insect.  According to this New York Times report, the research is being conducted next to a cow pasture in North Carolina.  Finally we see some government efficiency.  If you are going to develop bug bombs it’s smart to do it where there is a good supply of bugs.

Trouble with Presidents
We always knew people died because Bush lied; now we find out President Obama is a murderer.  We have that from no less authority than the leader of the Nation of Islam, The Reverend Louis Farrakhan.  It must be true.  Certainly a Reverend wouldn’t lie.

Wrong urinal
We learn that one man peed away 8 million gallons of water in Portland, Oregon.  A surveillance camera recorded him in the act of finding bladder comfort on the shore of the town reservoir so the authorities drained it, all 8 million gallons.  Nothing was said of the small critters that roam its banks or the thoughtlessness of some of the birds that fly over the water.

Disqualified
Don’t fall into the same trap I did.  I paid my taxes and made my mortgage payments.  As a consequence, I don’t qualify for entry in a lottery to receive a grant from the latest billion dollar government fund for deadbeats.  Perhaps I’m being too harsh.  True misfortune has struck many a homeowner; but I suspect that true misfortune is not a requirement for application.

VIDEOS FROM THE LIGHTER SIDE

Hat tip to reader Ron

ATHIESTS DONT HAVE NO SONGS

It’s Steve Martin with his latest parody. It’s exquisitely amusing. I like the laid back style of the performance. It gives the impression they put this together on a lark just a few minutes ago.
Who knows, maybe it was.